Yes, hey, hello, to anyone who's reading this right now. This is my first post on this blog, however, I'm gonna fill it up with well, my almost or already crappy life.

I'm 16 this year (or soon will be) and yes, a form 4. Proud student who got straight A's for PMR but I realized it's not really worth it to work so hard to be smart. You see, if you're smart, your parents will have high expectations. Good academic, good personality, good basically /anything/. Yes, that's true or at least it is like that for me. Form 4 is a stressful year, well I guess I deserve to say that since I'm stressed out enough even when it's the second week of school. Heavy school bags, top class in the grade which also means you'll get compared with everyone else. Seniors, juniors, and people from other class, yeah. I have to admit I'm lazy and really, really not a fast learner, sometimes I pretend to know things which I do not know. Perhaps I'm born that way or maybe I've transferred to too many schools to make my personality like that. Can't blame anyone for that.

Making friends isn't easy for me. I may be or can be really loud sometimes, that's perhaps my way of getting attention. Everybody deserves attention from other people, but some people just happened to get more attention than normal people like me. People tried being bitchy for attention, funny, annoying, or smart to get attention. I guess my way is just one of the many way. I never actually cried in front of people, happy moments nor sad moments. I act happy even when I'm sad, or I'll just try to keep myself away from people. Human beings are weird, when you're a good person for your whole life but you did something bad for once, people will remember it forever. If you're a bad person but you did something really nice, just one time it's enough to get all the praises from everyone. Like for example, I've been trying, yes, trying to be nice to everyone but people just treat me like /nothing/, like it's my job and it's a must to be nice to them. But when I said no for once, I'll be known as the selfish, unkind transfer student.

I do not have someone to actually talk to about how I really feel, because I'm not that kind of person since then. People thinks I'm carefree and just, high and happy all the time. I really want to talk to someone though, but whenever I found someone to talk to he/she will just shrug it off or think I'm really annoying. Not their fault, maybe I'm just a nobody for them so I don't deserve their time for a talk. -shrugs- I'm acting so pathetic right? Right? But I'm telling the truth. I don't even have a best friend. Like a best friend to share things with, a best friend to at least, listen to my rant. Lived 16 years so I guess I'm used to it. Hahaha. It's fine. But sometimes I assume that I actually have best friends, but well, like I said, I'm a nobody to anyone so I don't even get a chance to be the first in someone's thought unless they need me for something that benefits themselves.

I should shut up. I'll just go on with life. Even if I'm not anyone to anyone, but I guess people I'm with now will be my memories, soon when I leave this place and meet new people, hopefully someone I can talk and share my stories with. /Hopefully/

Good night.

^^